Lost Gay Love Part 8

So today is a what I would say is a big day and though the day is not over yet I will not be the first to mention it to my partner.  Today is 1 year that we have been together.  Since he has walked in I have not been told Happy Anniversary.  As I mentioned in one of my previous blogs that I am no longer supplying the roses, massages, etc.  This is all him at this point.  Today I woke up with a smile on my face and happiness of a very fond memory that I am holding on to that happened about a week to two weeks ago.  I went to to run my errands that I needed to do this morning, but not before I read one chapter of Joel Osteen, "I Declare, 31 Promises to Speak Over Your Life", as it states that one should read only once chapter a day so to go through all 31 days in a month.  So at this time in my life I know now what is going to happen and am just buying time to do so.  I know that may be a wrong thing to do, but due to certain circumstances I must do it this way, if not I would already be out and starting on my road to happiness.

I made a promise not only to myself but to my mother; May she rest in peace; to be a father and to raise my son with the traditions and skills that my mother taught to me.  I now refuse to just be in a relationship that happiness only revolves around one and not both people.  In a relationship, both should be each other pillars in all aspects of the relationship to make that pillar into an indestructible Pantheon.  But this relationship I feel barely even has the base made to support such a structure.  So since he is not able to make me happy, I've come to the conclusion that I must make myself happy.  Its sad, but true.

I went to the gym this morning and did my run and afterward I hit the sauna to sweat out some more.  Afterward showered and came back home and rested and thought of all the new things that I would like to do when I move out in my own place.  I am hoping that I will be able to paint a wall a different accent if not I will work around it.  I am even hoping that one of the walls is a brick wall.  I would love a loft, but will need to know if it was be affordable at the time of the move.

In 2 days I am going to follow up on an agency to see if they will be having a booth at the event this weekend.  I am hoping that they will be there so that I can get as much information as possible before the streets start to close.

And if after sometime I meet a special someone that will make me happy, I will make sure not to do the same mistake that I have done in all my past relationship.  The next relationship I will make sure that it consist of both people committing to each other equally so that one does not feel that one is doing more then the other.

I see only positive things now happening in my life and I am starting to feel the seed of happiness starting to take root with in myself.  The road is opening up to me and my destination is just over the horizon.

Sincerely,

Mister M